"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
11/07/2019 at 11:49 • Filed to: the nazis had pieces of flair they made the jews wear
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"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
11/07/2019 at 11:49 • Filed to: the nazis had pieces of flair they made the jews wear | 7
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To anyone who works in any kind of office environment, the movie Office Space will forever be relevant, and quotable. And it helps me, personally, laugh at some things that would otherwise make me want to auto- defenestrate.
ME: “Hi, do you have the contact information for our rep for this company? I know you used to be the person who handled everything with them [very recently in fact] . Thanks for your help.”
Response (this was the full body of the email) : www . insertcompanyname . com / contact
This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja:
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 11:57 |
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Did you reply “Thanks for literally nothing, you useless shit.”?
RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 11:59 |
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I have it on Blu-Ray. Not that higher def O-face is worth the premium per se
, but it’s not
not
worth a premium.
Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 12:01 |
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Sorry that is no longer my department. Please refer to the new org chart issued on 1-27-2019 for the appropriate contact for vendor invoicing .
Ash78, voting early and often
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 12:05 |
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A few of the “deeper cut” standards can be said in an office setting. Usually a minority of people get the reference , but that’s ok. They still seem to work for people who never saw it.
1. Repeating something for the third+ time : “I have 8 bosses, Bob.”
2. Did you miss the 2pm meeting: “I wouldn’t say I missed it”
3. In responses to any excessive work: “We’re putting cover sheets on all the TPS reports now.”
And the one I hear almost every day: “Didn’t you get the memo?” or “I didn’t get that memo.” Those are permanent standby comments in all of life now.
fintail
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 12:08 |
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Not just relevant, it often seems like a documentary. I just wish one of my psycho (somewhat serious) directors was as tame as Lumbergh.
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functionoverfashion
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
11/07/2019 at 12:13 |
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It’s hardly a cinema tographic masterpiece, but I do love it. Also Jennifer Aniston doesn’t look any older today, and she’s 50.
Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 12:16 |
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Mike Judge has amazing satirical accuracy. Silicon Valley is hilarious too, but sometimes is so accurate to my job that it’s scary.
Office Space, obviously is still incredibly accurate as well.
ranwhenparked
> Ash78, voting early and often
11/07/2019 at 12:16 |
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I worked at a company that required everyone to join a Groupme group, and was told I didn’t share enough, with reference to a coworker who messaged an average of 4 times a day as the standard I should try to match. A pparently they wanted everyone to send each other random encouragement/motivational messages and banal pictures of themselves doing their jobs. Was told I needed to try to share something at least once a day. Totally reminded me of the "pieces of flare" conversation.
WilliamsSW
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 12:19 |
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I think you have my stapler...
ttyymmnn
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 12:25 |
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Should have replied with this;
PartyPooper2012
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 12:29 |
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Whenever someone in my office doesn’t do something pretty simple and they know they should do that daily and it causes minor issues, I come over and ask them if they saw the memo about attaching cover sheets on all TPS reports now.
youngens look at me like I have grown 3 heads. Oldens chuckle
unrelated but equally funny
Sometimes when someone’s computer doesn’t start I ask them if they pumped the gas 3 times - carburetor joke. Most people now don’t get it
Poor_Sh
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 12:39 |
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I keep having 5+ people come by with the same conversation/task. I feel like I have 8 bosses but none of them are my superior. Office space is on my mind every day.
Textured Soy Protein
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 13:11 |
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Fun work story time!
I set my company up with new recruiting software a few months ago. It’s very handy and intuitive. For example, it has some neat interview scheduling tools, and sends feedback reminder emails to the interviewers, like this:
Last week, there was this interview where the hiring manager had a rather long list of people he wanted to meet the candidate, and after I had already scheduled the interview, the list was narrowed down. After the interview, o ne of the people who got removed from the interview, who I generally like as a coworker, forwarded me the email above, and said,
“Would you please remove me from the interview action item list. I didn’t participate in Monday’s interview and have no feedback to offer at this time.”
After facepalming several times because there’s an “I didn’t attend this interview” link right there in the fucking email that he forwarded me, I decided, well, that text is a not-very-noticeable gray color, and kinda small, so I just replied back in a non-snarky way,
“I’m not able to remove you from the list after the fact, but if you click the “I didn’t attend this interview” button at the bottom of this email it’ll take care of it for you.”
But still.
Reading is fundamental.
davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 13:32 |
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Nice tag.
Thisismydisplayname
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 13:51 |
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What would you say you DO around here?
Dakotahound
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 14:21 |
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One day, a letter arrived from the bank notifying me that my last payment was short by a few dollars. The y had raised the amount of my escrow payment, but had not notified me and the payment booklet had not been updated to reflect the higher es crow.
When I called the bank, the representative told me that “our policy is that it is the customer’s responsibility to contact the bank if they have not been notified of a change.” I explained to him that this was ridiculous , but he could not understand the problem with the policy.
I then asked to speak to a manager. The manager told me “I am sorry sir, our policy clearly states that it is the customer’s responsibility to contact the bank if they have not been notified of a change to the payment .”
TheRealBicycleBuck
> ranwhenparked
11/07/2019 at 15:00 |
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A new manager in one of our groups has taken it upon herself to send out daily inspirational team-building quotes. My office-mate is ready to strangle her. This has been going on since the beginning of August. We’re beg in ning to wonder if she will ever run out of quotes.
Today’s quote: “Great teams do not hold back with one another. They are unafraid to air their dirty laundry. They admit their mistakes, their weaknesses, and their concerns without fear of reprisal.” - Patrick Lencioni
Yesterday’s: “When you hand good people possibility, they do great things” Biz Stone
Y et another: “With teamwork we are able to multiply our output and minimize individual input” - Ogwo David Emenike
And on it goes.....
GoodIdeaAtTheTime
> functionoverfashion
11/07/2019 at 15:02 |
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Fun fact, she looks even better in person!
just-a-scratch
> Ash78, voting early and often
11/07/2019 at 15:35 |
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It’s among my most quotable movies.
When being criticized, “Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.”
For those passive aggressive moments, “I could burn down the building.”
General purpose emphasis, “Fuckin’ A.”
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ranwhenparked
> TheRealBicycleBuck
11/07/2019 at 15:42 |
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I hated it so much. Often, I'd be in a meeting with an account, and my phone would start blowing up with message after messed coming in on top of each other - 1 stupid motivational one, and 10 in a row thanking/congratulating/agreeing with the person who sent it.
My X-type is too a real Jaguar
> Thisismydisplayname
11/07/2019 at 17:56 |
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I talk to the goddamn customer so the engineers don’t have tooo! I have People
Skills!!!
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functionoverfashion
> Dakotahound
11/08/2019 at 09:11 |
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Oh that’s priceless.
I went to close an account at a bank one day (at the end of college, leaving town) that had about $13 in it. I wanted my $13 though, so I went in and said, “Hi I’d like to close my account and take out the remaining balance.” To which the teller replied, “Ok, I’ll just go ahead and put a 30-day hold on your account, after which you’ll be able to withdraw the remaining funds and close out the account.”
Wait, no, I want the money THEN close the account.
But you said you’re closing the account, so I have to put a hold on it...
What if I had said I want to withdraw the money?
Of course you could do that, but now that you’ve said you’re closing it, we can’t give you the money until the hold is off.
Can’t you take the hold off?
No, sir.
I JUST WANT MY 13 DOLLARS
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functionoverfashion
> TheRealBicycleBuck
11/08/2019 at 13:06 |
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I’d start responding with rap lyrics
Sleep is the cousin of death
Yo check ain’t got no commas
Push me to t he edge so it really ain’t my mother-fuckin-fault, man
I’m out for presidents to represent me (Say what?)/I’m out for dead presidents to represent me
Driven by my ambitions, desire higher positions. So I proceed to make Gs, eternally in my mission
I mean, I can’t think of a ton off the top of my head, but yeah... so many
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functionoverfashion
> ranwhenparked
11/08/2019 at 13:10 |
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That sounds terrible. I signed up for a totally optional “outdoor challenge” with work, it was like “let’s be the most active [whatever] in the next 30 days” so I already DO the exercise, why not contribute? Well, I downloaded the app, signed up as a participant, got my free t-shirt, then found out you had to post selfies while doing the activity and share them on social media to get credit for them, preferably while wearing the shirt, allowing for laundry cycles of course.
Yeah, no. At least it was optional. But I did feel bad signing up and then not tracking anything.